Inaugural Transgender Day of Remembrance held in AP
79 lives afflicted by anti-transgender violence in 2015 memorialized
A list of 79 names lay on the starlit table at the entrance to the Carousel House on the Asbury Park boardwalk Friday night.
Next to it a laptop computer screen scrolled through photos and names of each of the victims afflicted by anti-transgender bigotry and violence in 2015.
“I think that we have established ourselves in New Jersey as probably the voice of the GLBT community,” said Geena Alessia Buono, organizer of the inaugural Transgender Day of Remembrance [TDoR] vigil in Asbury Park.
“I think it was important for us to show our unity with each other; how much that extends beyond just gay and lesbian or gay, lesbian or bi [community] but also moves to transgender and the straight community,” Buono said. “Tonight we see a combination or amalgamation of people here and that’s what makes this community so special.”
Buono said the event was organized in just three days, after boardwalk redeveloper Madison Marquette gave its approval to use the historic site.
The annual TDoR was founded in 1999 to memorialize the November 28th, 1998 murder of Rita Hester. In 2010, over 185 cities throughout more than 20 countries held organized observances.
“Overall this is about just remembering people who have been afflicted with violence,” Buono said. “We are not really alone we are in this together across the nation across the world too.”
According to a Williams Institute study, 41 percent of transgender people try to kill themselves at some point in their lives; this is compared to 4.6 percent of the general population.
Buono’s advice to anyone struggling to find their voice or identity: “I think the first thing you should do is take your time, really discuss it and be open. Try to find someone you can trust to open up to. There is no rush to come to a conclusion or to put a label on yourself.”
Howell resident Jae Harris was among the close to 50 people who attended the vigil. Harris, 29, said while he struggled for eight years, it was the love and support of friends and family that helped ease the journey.
“I got lucky that my transition went so well but it is super sad that there are so many victims out there even today in modern society when we should be more accepting and we should be more tolerant,” Harris said as he read through the scrolling stories on the laptop computer.
Among the 79 names was a 25-year-old Brazilian woman who died of multiple gunshot wounds on August 25, 2015.
“We definitely shouldn’t just ignore this,” Harris said. “This is absolutely disconcerting.”
His advice for those struggling to find their voice: “Just be confident. Just be strong and love yourself. If someone gives you a hard time about it, who cares. You should be the one loving yourself. You should not be the one caring what other people think.”
Council members Yvonne Clayton and Amy Quinn were also in attendance.
“We are so proud to see the first ever Transgender Day of Remembrance here in Asbury Park,” Quinn said.
“It touches your heart to know the problems that have been encountered by transgenders and the the discrimination and the pain they feel,” Clayton said.
City resident Brielle Mastroianni said the pain of being shunned by her family was only eased by her friendship with a transgender woman who committed suicide last year after being attacked in Delaware.
“I felt alone,” Mastroianni said of the initial backlash she sustained three years ago. “I felt unloved. I felt unworthy. But I remember her telling me we have the ability to create our own family when our [biological] family doesn’t give us what we need.”
Her advice: “Suicide is permanent solution to a temporary problem.”
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