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Over 150 people gathered Wednesday night for a memorial service at the Berkeley Oceanfront Hotel for a man they described as “wonderful” and “kind”, who possessed a true love for his family and friends.

Jay Bernstein, an agent at the John C. Conover Agency, fell to his death on Nov. 24 from the ninth floor of the Santander condominium building on Deal Lake Drive. He owned a ninth floor penthouse unit in the building.

Bernstein was buried at a family plot in his hometown of Philadelphia last week. Sammy Boyd, a friend and colleague of Bernstein’s, organized the memorial service.

A somber atmosphere clouded a ballroom of the hotel at the start of the commemoration, but it often lightened as friends and family members recounted stories of a man they say appreciated every moment in life, prompting occasional laughter throughout the crowd as those in attendance recalled his penchant for eccentric styles of dress and knack for telling a good story.

Photos of Bernstein enjoying vacations, fishing trips and times spent in good company scrolled on two screens on either side of a podium, where attendees of the service were invited to step up and share their memories

“Every moment was a joy,” said Steven Goldstein, Bernstein’s brother-in-law. “His love for family even exceeded his love for all of you, which is saying a lot. The purpose of this evening is to celebrate Jay’s life, not memorialize it.”

Both Goldstein and Boyd read through remarks people had left in the comments section of Bernstein’s Facebook page that “hit the nail on the head” when it came to describing Bernstein’s character.

“Wonderful. Kind. Had a loving heart. Has left a deep void. Trustworthy. Compassionate. Brought love and joy to everyone he touched,” were just a few of the comments read aloud.

“He was the biggest ball buster in my life — every day — all for fun,” said Boyd.

Boyd, who at first told the audience that he wasn’t going to tell any stories about Jay for an apparent fear of choking up, recounted one in which he made copies of a parking ticket he had received to put on Bernstein’s windshield weekly. As Bernstein was driving away from the office one day, Boyd shouted to him that he had something on his windshield. He then witnessed Bernstein reach his hand out of the driver’s side window, grab the ticket off of the windsheld and promptly toss it away in the breeze as he drove off.

“He brought light and joy to everything he touched,” said Jo Davidson.

“He had a wicked sense of humor and a sharp wit … he knew how to tell a good story,” said Ted Murtz.

Bernstein came to Asbury Park in 1999 and began his career in real estate, convincing many people to take a chance on investing in property in what was, back then, a blighted city.

Former New Yorker Daniel Baum recalled hearing about Asbury Park in 1998. He came to town with $1000 cash, no job, and wanted to buy a house, he said. Bernstein, who had problems accessing the lock box to show a house to Baum, simply smashed out a window pane, wiggled himself through and opened the door from the inside. Inside the attic of the house, Baum found a photo of four men “mooning” the camera, took it as a sign and decided to go ahead with the purchase. Bernstein was instrumental in stalling the owners of the home until Baum was able to secure a homeowner’s grant.

He was “the absolute definition of a mensch [a Yiddish word for a person of great honor and integrity]” said Kiki Harold. “I always loved Jay’s style, I loved his panache. He was not a cookie-cutter guy.”

Harold’s wife Beth recounted a time when she worked as the editor of the gay section of Time Out New York magazine and interviewed Bernstein about the gay resurgence in Asbury Park in the nineties.

“Walk five blocks in either direction and you can still buy crack,” he said to her.

Incredulous, she called him to verify that she could, in fact, quote him as saying that, to which Bernstein replied, “of course — that’s the truth.”

Greg Demaras, Bernstein’s friend and colleague at the Conover Agency, said he would often hear from Bernstein on Monday mornings in regard to his weekend antics: “Well, I think I really did it this time.” On one such occasion, Bernstein told Demaras about a one of his high-fashion risk-taking adventures in Atlantic City. Bernstein showed up to dinner with his friends before heading out to a James Brown concert dressed in a red jacket, yellow pants and gold lamé shoes — what he thought would be a fitting outfit for the godfather of soul — only to be informed by his horrified friends it was a James Taylor concert.

“He was truly made from concentrate. No matter how much was poured into this man, he did not dilute,” Demaras said. “He was one of the most amazing people I have ever met … I feel blessed.”

Bernstein would often stop to pause to appreciate the gift of the present moment among family and friends, saying “Isn’t this nice?” according to Boyd.

“I think he would think that of tonight,” Boyd said.

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